by gillsfan1066 » Sun Dec 26, 2021 12:17 am
Buddy said to me last night ,you know marriage is like a deck of cards, in the beginning all you need is a couple of big hearts and a small diamond, after a few years all you want is a big club and a spade.
I have got this new girlfriend , I bought her a Hamster Fur Coat for Christmas, this afternoon we went for a walk down on Navy Pier in Chicago it took me three hours to get her off the damn ferris wheel. I don't think the relationship is going to last, we don't appear to have anything in common , last night we played scrabble and I banged my fist on the board after about the 20th time she put letters down and spelt the word wrong, and I ended up swallowing some of the tiles, it could spell disaster next time I use the bathroom. I spent half of last night defrosting the fridge , she calls it foreplay, eventually she came round and said shall we make a dirty movie, then she got upset because I suggested we should hold auditions for her part. Eventually she said how many women have you slept with, I said just you,all the others kept me awake all night.
The good news is I spent all Christmas afternoon installing a strobe light in the bedroom, at least it will look like she is moving when we have sex tonight.